


Not so secret admirer

by LucjaP



Series: Not so secret admirer [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avenger Loki (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Angst, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Other, Protective Loki (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26545546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucjaP/pseuds/LucjaP
Summary: Loki is reflecting on his feelings for you during one of the team bonding nigths (there’s not much bonding tho) and you rant to him about your blind date
Relationships: Loki (Marvel) & Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Series: Not so secret admirer [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930342
Comments: 5
Kudos: 60





	1. Blind dates aren't fun

**Author's Note:**

> It's the first chapter to my series "Not so secret admirer"  
> If you prefer you can also read in on my Tumblr : https://lucywrites02.tumblr.com/  
> I hope you'll like this story!!! Comments are always appreciated <3

It was another one of those “team bonding” nights that Loki hated with passion. The only reason he was attending those nights was because he could see you there. Loki hasn't admitted it verbally, yet, but the god of mischief really liked you. More than he wanted actually.  
He was looking at you as you chatted with Wanda about some TV show the two of you watch every Monday together. Not that Loki would know, of course. And he definitely didn't binge watch the previous seasons just to be able to discuss them with you. Not at all. Why would he ever waste his time on some mediocre midgardian entertainment just to see the way your eyes were shining when you were talking about your favourite characters.

“ Are you gonna go and talk to Y/N or are you just gonna stare at them the whole night?”  
Loki’s gaze shifted to the intruder. Already irritated god tried to move past Tony and would succeed if the billionaire didn't block his way with his hand.

“What is it that you want, Antony?”

“I want to know when will you finally ask our Y/N out!” Iron man said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Loki just looked at him dumbfounded.

“I don't know what you mean by that”

“Yeah, you do” Tony smirked and took a sip of his drink “It's obvious that you like them and just so you know, they won't be single forever so you better hurry up”  
Loki didn't like to show his emotions and he wouldn't talk about them with any member of this team (accept you, maybe) even if someone put a knife to his throat.  
You and he became good friends. You would sometimes rant to him about things that bothered you and he would do the same. Most of the time you two talked about books or movies. He considered you a friend. Loki knew he could trust you but how was he supposed to talk about his feelings for you, with you? 

“Don't be ridiculous, man of iron.” god growled obviously pissed ”I would never court a midgardian. Besides Y/N is just a friend, nothing more!” It was a big lie he liked to tell himself for he couldn't bear the idea of you not being able to love him back. It was easier to deny everything than to try and later lose it, he thought. 

“Woah! Reindeer is showing his horns again” Tony laughed and Loki was ready to pull a knife on him until you walked by the two of them. 

“ What's so funny guys?” you were about to refill your drink but stopped when you heard Tony's laugh “ care to share with the class?” you said jokingly.

“ Antony is being an idiot,” Loki said, looking at you.

“ So nothing new” you stated with a smirk. He held his hand out to take your glass and you gave it to him with a thankful smile on your face. Norns, did he adore when you smiled at him! Loki's heart was beating too fast for his liking and god hoped you wouldn't hear it.  
“Are you just gonna hold that glass or will you finally move your ancient ass and pour Y/N that drink” Tony's irritating voice pulled Loki out of his trance

“ I was about to do that, thank you for reminding me, Antony” If he could, the god of mischief would throw the billionaire out of the window again. “ What is it that you want, darling?” Loki asked and opened the cabinet with all of Tony's most expensive alcohols. 

“ Whiskey will be just fine.” Loki found the bottle and started to pour it into your glass. He was about to say something when the Iron man interrupted him once again.

“ So tell me Y/N, are you seeing anyone at the moment?” You looked at him clearly amused while Loki was already planning his murder and thinking of the place to dispose of Tony’s body. 

“Sorry, Tony. I'm not really interested” You responded with a smirk and was about to add another sly remark if it wasn't for Natasha who just happened to come by and hear your conversation.

“Didn’t you have a date yesterday?” the former assassin stopped in her tracks and asked you all confused “ With that girl from the 3rd floor? I thought you went with her!” At that moment Loki just wanted to get out of there so that he wouldn't have to listen to that conversation. He knew you two would never be together but he didn't want to hear about you being with somebody else. He finished his drink and was about to leave the room. 

“ I…. uhm well” you felt your face getting warmer as you looked at your hands “ I did go on that date but that didn't go well” the smile disappeared from your face and you felt even more embarrassed. You didn't want to talk about your love life, or lack of it, in front of Loki who noticed your discomfort right away. “It was terrible and I don't want to talk about it anymore so if you excuse me I'll be going now” you mumbled quickly not trusting your voice at that moment. You felt the tears in your eyes but decided to stay strong and not cause a scene. Loki saw this and put his hand on your shoulder. 

“That sucks Y/N! I'm so sorry! I'm going to kick her ass the next time i see that bitch” Nat took her drink and took a sip. She noticed how close you and Loki were standing and grabbed Tony's arm “Come on, tin foil! Peper was looking for you before and from what I heard you might be in trouble now.” She dragged her confused away from the two of you and winked to Loki on her way out. God realised she did that only so he could be alone with you and he would lie if he said he wasn't grateful for that

“Are you alright, Darling?” Loki asked still holding your shoulder “ Do you want me to stab somebody? 

“What? No Loki. I don't think any stabbing will be necessary” you chuckled. To be honest you weren't sure whether he was joking or not but his proposal lifted your spirit a bit. ”I'm actually glad that it didn't work out. It was a blind date. Natasha set the two of us up.” You tried to explain.  
“You are clearly upset, love. Do you want to talk about what happened?” Loki was seriously concerned about you right now. You signed and sat on the stool behind you. The god let go of your shoulder and sat right beside you. You finally decided to look at him and took a deep breath.

“First she showed up half an hour late which made me look like an idiot” you started, your voice already on the edge of breaking. Loki immediately put his hand on yours. This little action made you feel a bit better ”and... then she proceeded to criticize everything about me from the way I was dressed to the way I spoke...” you felt him squeeze your hand to encourage you to keep talking “She seemed so nice at first….. I just give up” Loki took your other hand in his as well. 

“What do you mean darling?”he asked, concerned seeing that you weren't as smiley and enthusiastic as you always are. He couldn't stand to see you sad, you were too precious to him and his heart broke when he saw the tears that started to form in your eyes.

“It's just… I… It's so stupid….” you stopped mid sentence, feeling a single tear going down your face and about to push it away but Loki beat you to it. You looked into his eyes and smiled sadly “I just feel so alone sometimes…. And yes I know I have amazing friends that support me and a loving family…. I-I just want to feel wanted, you know?” you paused to take a deep breath so that no more tears could escape your eyes. You didn't want Loki to think you were weak like that. Crying because of a bad date. You could always blame the alcohol later. But in reality it was so much more. That date reminded you of every failed relationship. Of all of your partners either cheating on you or saying that they got bored with you after a while. You felt Loki pulling your hands up to his lips and gently kissing your knuckles. “Gosh, I'm so sorry. It was supposed to be a nice night and here I am, ruining it for you!”

““You are not ruining anything, Darling! I'm so sorry you feel that way. If there's something I can do to make you feel better just say a word” he said tucking your hair behind your ear  
“That's what friends do, right?” Friend. That's all you ever will be to him. You smiled sadly at him, avoiding any eye contact and released your hands from his.

“Thank you Loki, really. I think i'm gonna go home and call it a night. “ you stood up and kissed his forehead. Loki's stomach filled with butterflies and he stood up as well to hug you goodnight but you were already on your way out of the room saying goodbye to other team members. 

God of mischief couldn't bear to see you all sad. He wanted to make you the happiest being in the universe, to see you smile and make you laugh. He walked out ignoring other people that were still in the room and headed to his chambers to set up his little plan.  
He will make you happy again, no matter the cost.


	2. The gift of a smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I suck at summaries) Someone left a little gift on your desk and your friends have some theories. Takes place day after the infamous “bonding night”

As you stepped through the office door you noticed a big bouquet of blood red roses with a green envelope attached to it on your desk. You thought somebody from the reception made a mistake and left it in your office instead. You picked the envelope up to find out to whom it should belong. Nothing could describe your confusion when the name you found on the note was yours. You couldn't recognise the handwriting. It was unique but you swear you’ve seen it before. You took the note out of the envelope when it hit you.

“Someone just sent me flowers? Flowers that are for ME???”

You checked the envelope one more time, just to be sure your brain didn't make that up but your name was still there.   
You felt a wave of excitement when you started to unfold the note and unintentionally bit your lip. You sat down and started to read.

“ Dearest Y/N, 

I have never been the type to say what I feel,  
to trust someone enough to discuss my emotions. I wish to tell you, believe me I have tried before  
But there is still a part of me that cannot take that chance. And I doubt that I will dare to confess to you in person any time soon. For now I will just admire you from a distance. For I’m not sure what else there is to do.   
I may not be brave enough to tell it to your face but. You, my dear are on my mind, day and night. I love how you make me feel when you are around, your presence is a blessing and I wonder if you are not an angel. Even after a bad day you make me forget all my worries, all you have to do is smile at me and I already feel better.   
And I adore the way you smile, the sign of your happiness is something I will treasure in my memory forever. I love how you say my name for I have never heard a sound more beautiful than your voice. Never would I have thought that anyone could bring me so much joy by just existing yet here you are.  
Even if I tried I could not list a thing about you that is not perfect. Meeting you was the best experience of my life and everyday I thank the universe for your existence.  
Always yours,   
X “   
For the first time in years the tears in your eyes were the tears of happiness. Hugging the note tightly to your chest you smiled as you spined in your chair, a high pitched sound of joy escaping your mouth. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that you've been acting like a 12 years old girl whose crush just confessed their undying love. You started to wonder who would write something like that. That person just wrote a whole ass love letter for YOU!   
You hoped for someone of course. This someone may or may not be a certain god of mischief whose brother is the god of thunder and who you may have a little crush on. But the chances that Loki was interested in you romantically were near zero. Right? You guys were just friends, he said that last night. But maybe it was a good sign. Maybe your admirer will help you get rid of your schoolgirl crush. It wouldn't hurt to try.   
You read the note one more time and put it aside with the flowers. You still had some paperwork to do but this time it didn't bother you that much.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was around lunch time when you got a text from Wanda

“Are you done for today? I made some lasagna and it's still warm. If you get there before Clint you might even get some”

Looking at the clock you decided that a brake was a great idea. Plus you wouldn't miss Wanda's lasagna and if you had to you would fight Clint for it.   
You put all the papers aside and stole one more glance at the roses before you left heading towards the elevator. You couldn't wait to tell your friend about the little gift you received today. You clicked the button to the 4th floor and leaned on the wall with a big smile on your face. You were so caught up in your thoughts you didn't notice when the elevator stopped.   
You walked with that little happy bounce in your steps. Passing through the living room you recognised the Asgardian brothers sitting on the couch. Thor was the first person to notice your arrival.

“Y/N!!!” his booming voice made you jump a little. You stopped in your tracks and turned to him “It's great to see you! How was your day, my friend?”

“I’ve been fantastic, Thor. Thank you” you responded with a warm smile “It’s great to see the two of you as well” you glanced at Loki and caught him already staring at you. You didn't get a chance to say anything else when Wanda came out of the kitchen with two plates in her hands. 

“It cooled off a little bit so you won't burn your tongue like the last time.” your friend said, putting the plates down on the table and you sat down with a grateful smile. “ Thor, Loki if you guys want there's more lasagna in the oven!” God of thunder didn't need to be told twice and before you could blink he was already in the kitchen. Loki on the other hand hesitated a bit but decided to grab some, too and maybe if he’s lucky he could sit right beside you. He couldn’t tell if you were in a good mood and if you liked the roses he left for you. The god was very anxious to see your reaction, suddenly feeling incredibly self conscious. He was about to fall in a spirale of thoughts but your voice pulled him back to reality

“ I was working for 5 hours….” you announced and took a bite “ I'm so glad you sent me that text. I would probably work for 5 more if you didn't!” you looked at the witch and met with her confused expression. “Do I… Do I have something on my face?” you asked puzzled but didn't get any answer. Thor and Loki made their way to the table and you turned to them. “Do I have something on my face?” Thor was about to say something but Loki beat him to it

“Your face looks fine, my dear” perfect even, he wanted to add “Why?”

“Wanda’s looking at me funny” you respond with a giggle. Loki took a seat right beside you, not looking at your face anymore for he was already feeling his heart beating like crazy. Your mere presence made the god of mischief the happiest and the shyest being at the same time. 

“You’re happy.” Wanda finally stated. At this moment Thor turned to look at you as Loki took a bite of his food, not wanting to be a part of the conversation but still listening, clearly waiting for your response.

“Lady Wanda is right, Y/N!”

“Yeah, what’s so surprising about that?” now you were the one confused.

“It’s Monday. You’re never happy on Mondays?” Your friend pointed out “AND you were working for 5 hours straight doing some boring paperwork” 

“And that is the reason I shouldn’t be happy?” you laughed at the witches analysis. She just smiled and continued.

“ No. I know you. Something happened. Spill the tea now!” Everyone's attention was on you and you knew you couldn't escape that conversation.

“OK! OK…….” all of a sudden you felt shy but still couldn't stop smiling “I got something today” Loki swallowed heavily feeling nervous. You could see how impatient Wanda was becoming. You put your fork down, put your elbows on the table and took your face in your hands to cover your blushing cheeks. “Someone got me something” you whispered softly.

“Someone who? Something what?” You knew Maximoff wasn't the most patient person but you loved to mess with her like that “You need to give me more details!!!” 

Apparently the conversation was so interesting that Thor didn't even want to go to the kitchen for another piece of lasagna. God of Thunder noticed how quiet his brother has been since you joined them which made him very suspicious.

“Sooo… “ you pulled your hands into your lap and started to fiddling your thumbs excitedly  
“ When I walked into my office today there was a bouquet of red roses on my desk with an envelope on it” you continued with a grin. Loki was now blushing furiously. He felt really proud because of the fact that he managed to make you so happy. Wanda seemed to be as excited as you. Thor on the other hand was shamelessly watching his younger brother with a smirk. “And in that envelope was a note and it was so sweet!!!!!! I reread it several times, it made me smile like stupid!”  
Loki's heart was at his throat and he was even sweating a little. At this moment he decided to look at you but got distracted by Thor’s reaction. The smile on the younger god’s face disappeared instantly and his brother smiled at him in response. 

“Who was it from Y/N?” Thor asked, still looking at Loki who wanted nothing more than to run away from that table as fast as he could.

“I don't know. They haven't signed the note” you responded. 

“You have yourself a secret admirer Y/N!!!” Wanda announced happily

“Well, not so secret, I think,” Thor added. Loki, having enough of his brothers attempts to out him, conjured a knife under the table and jabbed Thor's knee

“What do you mean?” The older god’s feedback made you really curious. Loki looked at Thor as if he was about to jump on him if he dared to speak another word.

“You had a date, correct?” Thor replayed quickly not wanting his brother to stab him anymore “It is obvious that it is her who sent you those flowers, is it not.” 

“That’s not the case” Wanda interrupted “That date was awful. I think it might be David, that new intern. He was spending a lot of time with you recently”

Loki's body stiffened at those words. You have never told him about any David and you two told each other everything. Was David his potential rival? What if that David takes all the credit for his doing and will ask you out before Loki will? He couldn't let some mortal man take you away from him like that. And now apparently he was spending a lot of time with you, ALONE??? He waited impatiently for your reaction.

“It definitely isn't David!” You laughed which made Loki feel a bit better “He’s an intern and I was showing him around. AND his on my floor so of course we see each other a lot. Besides I don’t think his boyfriend would appreciate it if he tried to ask me out” you added with a smirk. 

“What do you think, Loki?” Wanda’s question turned everyone's attention to the god of mischief. He was clearly taken aback which really amused his brother.

“I think that whoever it might be, they have a great taste in people.” Loki responded, winking at you. You can't deny that that complement made you really happy but at the same time it made you really flustered. Wait, did he just wink at you? Your face felt warmer than asphalt during summer. Looking at your watch you realised you were here longer than you were supposed to. Standing up you took your empty plate and put it in the dishwasher.

“I would love to continue our chit chat but I still have some work to do in the office” you said walking to the elevator. Wanda walked out with you as well, demanding to see the roses and to read that note herself. Loki smiled to himself as he watched the two of you disappearing behind the corner. He would be even happier if it wasn't for that oaf of his brother and his stupid remarks. 

“Did you seriously wink at her?” 

After that Thor needed to find Banner to help him remove the dagger from between his ribs.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Nothing made Loki happier than the thought of making YOU happy. You were his everything and even though you didn’t know he was your admirer, the smile you had on your face when you headed to your car with the roses in your hand after work, was the greatest gift he has ever received.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	3. Fool's hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During a party some of your friends are making some stupid bets and you don’t want to be a part of that conversation

You didn’t mind being the centre of everyone’s attention once in a while. But at this moment you despited it. The gifts kept coming and coming. After the roses you got a box of your favourite chocolates. Then you found a poetry book with highlighted sentences and the following day a brand new sketchbook was waiting for you on your desk. To every gift you received there was a note attached to them like the first time. Now just to make things clear, it’s not the gifts that were annoying you, no. It’s your friends who are constantly getting on your nerves.  
After another successful mission Tony decided to throw a small party. And by small he meant half of New York City. You were sitting with Thor and Bruce on a big couch far away from the crowd. The two of them were engaged in a conversation about kangaroos for some reason. At this point you didn’t even want to ask. Wanda and Clint were supposed to keep you company but you lost them somewhere in the crowd 20 minutes ago. You took a sip from your drink and looked through the room. You signed heavily as you noticed Sam and Natasha making their way to you. They were the ones that asked you the most questions and teased you all the time. Not in a mean way, they wouldn’t do that. It was more of a friendly kind of teasing. Well, until tonight.

“Did your secret lover get you anything today?” Sam asked with a smirk “It has been a week and you still don’t know who it is?”

“20 bucks say it’s Alex from human resources!” Nat stated. Sam turned to her and laughed. 

“50 bucks and it’s Max from IT” you weren’t sure if they were really betting on that or if it was just a joke? 

“To answer your first question, yes, I did get a gift today” you interrupted “ And I have no idea who it might be….”

“I actually think it’s Charlie, that barista from the cafe you go to everyday.” Bruce added

“My money’s on Charlie, too.” you haven’t even noticed when Clint showed up “You’re getting free cookies everytime we go there.” you knew you couldn’t stop them from talking about your situation but it was getting ridiculous.

“Does anybody have a piece of paper and a pen?” Natasha asked 

“Yeah, I think I have something..” Bruce responded, pulling a small notebook from his jacket pocket “Why?”

“It’s a pool!!!” the Russian said enthusiastically “We’re gonna list all of our candidates and then sign our names and the amount of money we’re betting under them!” Ok, it definitely is not a joke now. Teasing you about it is one thing but betting real money on you is something different. 

“Guys, maybe don’t?” you finally spoke

“Don’t stress yourself Y/N!” Sam said, smiling at you “You have your fun so let us have our!”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Not wanting to hear more you left your drink on the table and walked out of the room. You turned left and stepped into a small balcony. You noticed a familiar figure and smiled.

“Is that seat taken?” you asked pointing at the chair next to Loki. He turned to you with a smile and you noticed that his hair was in a bun which was somehow adorable.

“Of course, darling” god of mischief responded. You sat down and signed quietly. “Why aren’t you at the party?”

“I could ask you the same question, Loki” he could see that you weren’t in the best mood right now.

“My brother’s presence was annoying me” it wasn’t really a lie. Loki had enough of Thor’s constant teasing. He already stabbed him 6 times but the god of thunder just couldn’t help himself. It’s not often that your younger brother falls in love and sends anonymous letters and gifts to his love interest. “ So, what brings you here, love?” Normally that nickname would make your heart beat like crazy but even that couldn’t cheer you up.

“Sam and Nat started a stupid bet” you leaned your head on his shoulder. This small action made the god blush like stupid and he hoped you couldn’t hear his heartbeat “And I really don’t like it”

“What is it about, Y/N?” Loki put his hand behind your back and pulled you closer. “Should I go there and tell them to stop?”

“It’s nothing. It’s just…” you suddenly felt really embarrassed “They are betting on who the person sending me all the stuff might be” you continued “And I’m sick of this whole situation”

“Does it bother you that much?”

“It doesn’t bother me that they talk about it but betting on it is too much” Loki’s hand was going up and down your shoulder trying to make you feel better. You smiled at the small gesture. “But it’s probably not even going to be anything serious so I don’t know why they are so excited about it” 

“Why do you think it’s not anything serious?” Loki asked confused “They were sending you gifts everyday. That seems very serious to me” God stated looking at his shoes. He was now feeling very anxious. Did you not like the gifts? Did he write something he wasn’t supposed to? Did he unintentionally hurt your feelings?

“I know Loki….” you pulled your head off his shoulder and leaned further in your chair “It has happened before. Someone shows any interest in me and then says it was just a bet or that they did it as a dare” that’s why you didn’t date and let anyone in. You just couldn’t bear another heartbreak. “Those gifts and notes…. They make me really happy but how can I be sure it’s not another joke? It has been a week and I still haven’t the slightest idea who gives me those things….” Loki wanted to explain everything and finally confess but you stood up and started to walk out. “I’m sorry if I ruined your night. I just needed to rant a bit, I guess” you said apologetically.

“Y/N, wait!” God stood up and quickly made his way to you. You stopped in your tracks and turned around “Let me at least walk you home?” He wanted to spend more time with you and hoped you’ll agree.

“Sure thing, Lokes” you smiled and the two of you made your way to the elevator

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
MEANWHILE 

“Ok, so it’s 50 buck on Charlie from the coffee shop from Clint and Bruce” Nat said while writing it down “And I bet 20 on Alex” after you left a few other avengers joined the pool

“ I still think it’s Max. Write down 50$” Sam added

“My money’s on Max, too” even Bucky participated in their shenanigans “30$” Thor was watching their interaction clearly amused. He was actually considering if he should say anything “Steve what do you think?”

“I feel it might be Alex. Write down 30 bucks” Steve responded and turned his attention to the god of thunder. “How about you? You’ve been pretty quiet the whole time” Thor just smirked. 

“I bet 50 dollars on Loki,” Thor declared. He knew he was right but the rest of the team didn’t have to find out. At least not yet

“Loki?” Nat asked confused “Are you sure?” Odinson grinned

“Oh, I am”


	4. To be young and in love

“Maybe that person doesn’t want you to be disappointed,” Loki stated while the two of you were walking through the Central Park. He would hate himself even more than he already does if you decided not to be his friend anymore if he confessed his love to you “What if they come forward and it’s not who you want them to be?” God was anxious. Would you ever consider being with him romantically? Loki thought about that possibility before but would his dream ever come true?

“I still would give them a chance” you said “they have been sending me all those amazing gifts and it made me really happy” you remembered all the sweet little notes you received and smiled.

Maybe there was still a chance. You just said you were willing to date him. You didn’t know it was Loki but he wasn’t sure if you would still think that way if you knew. Both of you were lost in your own thoughts and didn’t even notice that you were already standing at your door. You fished into your pocket to find your keys but couldn’t find them. You let a tired sign remembering that you left them in your office. You haven’t gotten a chance to go home before the party and so they are probably still laying on your desk. 

“Looking for this?” Loki asked. You turned to look at him and noticed your keys in his hand. You took them and gave him a thankful smile. Before you entered your home you had hugged him and said goodnight. 

Loki decided to make his final move. He will tell you tomorrow.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The next day you came to work later than usual. You couldn't sleep and when you finally did you were in too deep to hear your alarm. You didn't have that many things to do but it still was too much paperwork for your taste. You got another note, of course. This time it was just the note. No roses, no chocolates. As you finished writing a report from the last mission you opened the note but didn’t have a chance to read it for someone knocked at your door.

“Come in!” you said and put the note aside. You will have time to read it later. The door opened and Loki walked in giving you a nervous smile.

“Hello Y/N!” he seemed really anxious, scared even. And scared he was! Loki thought he couldn’t be more terrified of this conversation but now that he’s actually here and ready to confess his love to you, he was sure he was going to faint. To be honest he wasn’t as ready as he would like to but it was now or never. Loki was either about to start a new chapter of his life filled with love and happiness or destroy a friendship he worked so hard on for months. Ok, Loki was not ready at all.He started to play with his sleeves, hoping it would help him calm down. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

“Hi, Loki!” you picked up on his unusual behavior but didn’t want to push him into talking about it. At least not at the moment. You knew that Loki would tell you what was bothering him when he feels like it. “I wasn’t expecting you to come today. Is there something you need?” you asked, concerned.

“No, not at all, I just… I was nearby and…..I-I wanted to see you!” oh norns, it was so awkward. “What you said yesterday made me-” he tried to form a normal sentence but his brain wasn’t cooperating. 

“Loki, listen,” you interrupted him, remembering the conversation you had with him last night “I’m very sorry about that. I’m sorry you had to put up with me and my insecurities. And if that made you uncomfortable I will never speak of it again, I promise.”

“No, Y/N, darling. I assure you, you have nothing to apologize for!” He took a step back and leaned on the wall “It is me who should be sorry. That’s why I’m here right now” he continued and looked at the ceiling.

“You did nothing wrong, Loki” you replied “ you did the exact opposite actually.” 

“Please, just let me talk,” he said, slowly walking to your desk. He took a deep breath thinking it would somehow soothe his nerves. His gazes focused on the green envelope hat was laying on your desk. “I see your admirer gave you another note,” Loki stated, pointing at the peace of paper “you should open it”

You were taken aback. First he wants to talk about last night and now he’s changing the subject.

“I will read it later, don’t worry. You wanted to talk to me so let’s talk.”

“I would really appreciate it if you could give me an answer while I’m still here.” he said, looking nervously at his now shaking hands.

“I don’t think I understand, Loki” you could tell he was struggling with something and you also started to get anxious. You were really concerned about your friend for you have never seen him like that ever. He has shown you his soft and angry side but to see him all scared without knowing why? 

Biting his lip Loki conjured a single rose and handed it to you. You took it hesitantly not knowing what was happening. And then it hit you. Your eyes widened with shock. You looked at the flower then at the note and then at Loki again. Were you dreaming? It was a dream, right?

“Was it..? It was you? My, you know?” you were so surprised you forgot how to speak English.

“Not so secret now, I suppose” you couldn’t tell but his heart was beating like crazy and his hands were shaking even more now. He put them behind his back and looked at you with anticipation. There weren’t many things Loki was afraid of but the thought of you hating him after this was unbearable. You remembered about the note and picked it up and started to read.

Loki looked away from you. He couldn't stand the silence that has fallen between you two. Some tears were already forming in his eyes. That was it. He just ruined everything. He was panicking and if he stayed there any longer he would get a panic attack

“I’m… I’m so sorry” he said and took a step back “I think it was a bad idea, you are clearly not interested and I don’t even blame you “ a sad laugh left his mouth. He wiped away a tear that has fallen down his cheek “I just…. I just hoped that you….. I’m sorry for wasting your time” he spun around, wanting to run out of the building and never come back. 

“Loki wait!” you shouted 

“No, It’s ok. You don’t have to say anything i unders-”

“I would love to” you replied quickly

“I’m not following…”

“On the note you asked if I’d like to go on a date with you- “ you explained “And my answer is yes” Loki noticed your smile and he could have sworn he was able to see the love in your eyes. You weren’t joking nor were you pitying him. It was really happening!

“So you are content knowing that it was me all this time?”

“Actually, I hoped it was you”

Loki looked at you in awe, his mouth slightly open in shock. All this time his insecurities were telling him to give up on you while his love waited for him patiently. 

“Are free this evening, darling?” Loki smiled at you, you noticed he was blushing and thought it was the cutest thing you have ever seen. 

“I finish work in 3 hours but I don’t think my clothing is appropriate for our first date.” you said, suddenly feeling shy again.

“You always look beautiful” Loki stated and took your hand in his “Does 6 work for you?”

You nodded enthusiastically, not trusting your voice at that moment . It was silent again but this time it wasn’t awkward at all. Loki leaned closer and for a brief moment you were sure he was going to kiss you. Instead he rained your hand to his lips and kissed it gently. Your legs felt like jelly and it was just a kiss on the hand! 

“I’ll pick you up at 6 then” he said and walked to the door

“Can I at least not what it is we are going to do?” Loki just smirked

“It’s a surprise, my dear” he replied and left. He closed the door behind him and leaned on them. God pinched his arm to make sure it was real and left a happy laugh. You have feelings for him! He walked into the elevator and started to plan your date in his mind. It had to be perfect. You deserved everything he could give you and he will try to make you happy. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as Loki closed the door you fell into your chair and squeaked, spinning around like a little kid. You didn’t care how ridiculous it looked. Your crush likes you back!!!!! And he asked you out!!!!! You immediately started to think of an outfit for the night but you had no idea where he wanted to take you. You picked your phone and sent Wanda a message.

“My office now. It’s important!!”

You didn’t finish the rest of your work that day, of course but that didn’t matter.


	5. The date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki finnaly asked you out and things are going really well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you who read and liked my story!!! It's the very first series I have ever written and posted so I was really excited to see the outcome. I love you all!!!

The only thing on your mind was your upcoming date with Loki. He said he was going to pick you up at 6 and it was already 4.30. You opened your closet and left a disappointed sign. Of course you would have a problem with picking up an outfit right before the date you were looking forward to having. You were going through your clothes and throwing them all around the room. You were doing that for almost half an hour and ended up with three outfits on your bed. Loki Didn’t tell you where you were going but it was a date so you should look fancy. But not too fancy. If you dressed up too nicely and he took you to the movies you would look dumb. But if you looked ordinary and he indeed took you to a restaurant you would be embarrassed. You felt helpless and anxious. You really wanted this date to go well but your insecurities were eating you up. You pulled your phone and called Wanda. You didn’t even let her to say hello, you just started rumbling.

“Hey, Wanda!! Remember when I told you that my admirer asked me out on a date, right?”

“Oh my… Yes, of course I remember, Y/N! You told me that like 2 hours ago. By the way, you still didn’t tell me their name!”

“I will tell you later, for god’s sake! I’m in a crisis right now!!”

“Did they call it off? Y/N are you all right?”

“He did not call it off and I am fine except for the fact that I have no idea what to wear and he didn’t tell me where we’re going!!!”

You were so stressed and yet so excited.

“Ok, I can’t come over but we’ll figure something out. And he? So it’s a guy ???”

“Not now Wanda! Let’s think about my outfit and not the gender of my date, please.”

“Yes, yes of course. Ok let’s go then”  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
You talked to Wanda for another half an hour and FINALLY decided what to wear. You looked at the time on your phone and rushed to the bathroom for a quick shower. And by quick you meant really quick. You dried yourself with a towel and put your clothes on. You felt confident in them which was a good sign. It wasn’t too fancy but you looked really good. You sprayed some perfume all over your body and put your phone in your pocket. You were putting your shoes on when you heard the doorbell. You hurried to the door and opened it and saw Loki. He was wearing black jeans, green t-shirt and a jacket. It wasn’t often that Loki wore midgardian clothing but when he did HE LOOKED SO GOOD. You noticed him staring at you and felt really self conscious.

“I- I had no, no idea where you wanted to take me so I-I..” you stuttered, looking down at your clothes. Loki sensed your discomfort and hugged you.

“You look stunning.” he said “You always look amazing in my opinion. I would still admire your beauty if you wore a potato bag.” you laughed at that statement and Loki mentally gave himself a high five for making you smile. “As I recall, I think you have a date waiting for you” you took his hand in yours and the two of you started to walk down the road. 

“Can you tell me where we are going now?” you gazed up at him and noticed that he was already looking at you with a smile on his face.

“We are almost there, love” Love? He has never used that name before. You heard him call you darling, dear, petal. He even called you sunshine that one time. But never love. Your heart was beating like crazy and you prayed he couldn’t hear it. Loki didn’t mean to say love but it felt so natural and to be honest, he really liked the idea of calling you his love. 

You were walking in silence for a few more minutes. Loki stopped and took a key from his pocket. Both of you were standing in front of the library you showed him at the very beginning of your friendship. It wasn’t too far from the city but not many people visited this place. That’s one of the reasons why you and Loki hung out there a lot . God opened the door and let you in first.

“Follow me” he said and took your hand in his again. You giggled as he started enthusiastically walking up the stairs. You were almost at the top when Loki stopped again.   
“Close your eyes” you did as he asked and smiled. You were beyond excited for what you may see up there. Loki carefully guided you to the centre of the roof and took a moment to just look at your face in the moonlight. The happiness radiated from you and he wondered what he did to deserve you. He let go of your hands and took a step back. “You can open them now!”

You did as he said. The first thing you laid your eyes upon was a blanket on the floor and a picnic basket on top of which a bouquet of lilies was laying. You turned around to see the whole roof covered in fairy lights and rose petals. No one has ever done anything like that for you. You were speechless! Your mouth was slightly opened in shock.

“Do you like it?” Loki asked shyly. Now that the two of you were finally there Loki wondered if it was too much for a first date. He wanted you to feel loved and show you how much you mean to him but what if he just scared you off? You didn’t respond immediately which made Loki even more anxious. “If it’s too much we could-”

“It’s perfect!” you interrupted him “It is amazing, really. I love it!” and so with a simple smile all of his doubts were gone.

You sat down on the blanket and Loki handed you the flowers. You thanked him and put them next to you. God of mischief opened the basket pulling out two wine glasses, your favourite takeout and a bottle of Sangria.

“I hope you don’t mind the food.” Loki said nervously “I would cook but didn’t know how to make these.” he motioned at the boxes. He tried to open the bottle but couldn’t get the cork out. You noticed his hands started to shake a little bit.

“Here, let me,” you took the bottle and picked your keys. “My friend once showed me how to open wine with keys.” you said feeling very proud of possessing such skill. You threw the cork back in the basket and poured it into the glasses. You handed one to Loki with a warm smile.

“I am really glad you agreed to go out with me tonight” he announced

“Well, I’m really glad you asked.” you replied “I mean, this whole thing-” you motioned around you happily “-it’s amazing. When did you even have time to do this? And how did you even get the key to the library?”

“What is it you midgardians say? A magician never reveals his secrets.” he responded with a smirk.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had no idea how much time passed but it wasn’t important. You and Loki were talking about everything and nothing while you ate. As you finished you both layed down on the blanket to gaze at the stars. Loki turned the fairy lights off to have a better view. You put your head on his chest and he hugged you close to his body.

“I finished that book about midgardian’s astrology you gave me last week.” Loki announced breaking the silence.”I’m pretty sure I am able to name more constellations than you” he smirked down at you.

“Game on, mischief!”

You knew Loki was a lot better at this stuff than you were. Astrology was his passion and you could spend hours listening to him talking about the stars. His eyes were shining as he was pointing at the dots in the sky and naming them all. He even told you some stories about Asgard and how different the sky looked back there. You weren’t looking at the stars anymore. Instead your gaze stayed on Loki’s face admiring him. You didn’t even notice when he stopped talking. He looked down at you and smiled.

“Are you listening?” he asked amused

“Of course I am!”

“Then tell me where the so-called Orion’s belt is, darling” you looked up and pointed to a random star.

“It’s that one!” you said confidently.

“That feels more like it” Loki took your wrist in his hand and moved it to the left. You laughed and looked at him again. 

“Show off!”

Loki looked into your eyes with an awe. His gaze shifted to your mouth and he slowly closed the distance between your faces. Your lips were softer than he imagined them to be. You didn’t expect his kiss and your body stiffened in shock which Loki noticed right away.

“Y/N, I am so sorry!” he panicked and pulled away “I shouldn't have done that! Please forgive me”

In response you took his shirt in your hand and janked him closer and smashed your mouth with his. Loki left a surprised sign but quickly reciprocated your kiss. His hands wandered to your waist as yours were playing with his raven black curls. Feeling bolder, you gently bit his lower lip. In response Loki opened his mouth and slipped his tongue into yours. You moaned softly and pulled away to catch your breath. Your foreheads were touching and you were smiling like lovestruck teenagers. As your breathing went back to normal you dived in for one more kiss and caressed his cheek. Loki was feeling so alive at this moment. He has wanted you so badly for so long and the fact that you were literally here, kissing him with such love and passion, sent his mind straight to Valhalla.

“Darling-” Loki sounded as if he just ran a marathon and you could swear there was sweat forming on his forehead “-I would love to continue but I do not want to overstep any boundaries…” he continued and put his hands on your cheeks. His lip was swollen because of your kisses and his hair were out of place. His cheeks were bright red and that did things to you. Things you would never do after the first date. But hey, you were pinning over this guy for a few months! “Besides-” his voice brought you back from your fantasies “-I don’t thing a rooftop is a suitable place for such activities” his voice was even lower than usual and just like that you were done for. This man had your heart and, for once in your life, you were ok with that.

“Then let’s go out of here, your majesty.” you suggested and stood up. Loki waved his hand and the place was clean as if you two were never there. He took your hand in his and you hurried down the stairs.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The tower was quiet except for the movie that played on TV. Tony, Bruce, Thor and Natasha were sitting on the couch. Clint and Sam took the chairs from the kitchen and Wanda was sitting on an armchair with Vision. Steve and Bucky were on the floor with a bowl of popcorn between them. 

The whole room was silently watching until they heard some sounds coming from the hallway. You and Loki were unaware that the team was having a movie night and decided to take a shortcut to Loki’s room through the living room. You were giggling and giving each other kisses along the way until you stepped into the room and noticed you weren’t alone. 

“You said you were going on a date but I didn’t know it was with Loki!!!!” Wanda was the first one to break the silence. She stood up and embraced you. 

“Wait-” Sam pointed between the two of you “-so YOU were Y/N’s secret admirer this whole time???” Loki didn’t get to say anything because Thor’s loud laugh brought everyone’s attention to him.

“I guess ALL of you owe me some money now” God of thunder announced amused 

“Hey!” Bucky said “You knew about this all the time! That doesn't count!!” The avengers started to argue and didn’t notice you and Loki sneaking out of there.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki pinned you to the door as soon as it closed and started to kiss down your neck but suddenly stopped.

“What’s wrong, Loki?” you asked concerned

“Please, don’t get me wrong but I am not sure if we should do that right now” Loki noticed your hurt expression and quickly reassured you “I want you, Y/N, I really do!” he took your hand and put it on his chest. You could feel how fast his heart was beating “I don’t want you to think that I did all of this just to sleep with you.” he explained

“Loki, I would never think that.” you hugged him and kissed his cheek “I know you care about me.”

“I’m in love with you...” Loki mumbled out. He didn’t want to confess his love to you after only one date but it felt right. It felt real.

You only kissed him harder and pushed him further into his room until his legs bumped into his bed. He sat down and pulled you onto his lap.

“That’s good,” you breathed out “Because I love you, too”


End file.
